Wattle Season

Every patient that has passed away, I miss them. I see them in their family who come in for their visits. I think of them when I drive past their street, thinking of the home visits I did when they were palliative. Thinking of them when I see wattles bloom and remember that they had wattles on their coffin, because that was their favourite flower.

Learning so much more about their lives when I get the opportunity to attend their memorials. Thinking of the stories their loved ones shared about their passing. Thinking of those that have passed without family present, and knowing that I at least listened to them, saw them in the last moments, and gave them someone.

Wishing I could have done more for those that took their own lives, though knowing I did all that I could. Not being able to drive along their street because I couldn’t mentally take the images of them being found. Wondering forever the why of what they did. Crying with loved ones left behind because there is nothing else to give at that time.

Hoping that when I pass, I have a doctor who is there and will help to give me a peaceful passing. Understanding the privilege that we have as doctors to be present at the most vulnerable time of another’s life, and guiding them through it.